Hi everyone! Today, I’m writing a personal post, which I think can also be looked at as a discussion. Why, you ask? I’m pretty sure that absolutely everyone has experienced anxiety about their future before. I firmly believe that discussing anxiety or something that stresses you out with others who have experienced the same can help you deal. So here I am, talking to you about the fears that have bubbled up in the past few months.
So, last week I got some exciting news: I graduated and received my bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. YAY! I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already. Now, in Belgium it is usual to do a follow-up master’s degree immediately after finishing your bachelor. And I am doing that. However, I realized that the master for my degree only takes one year. So this time next year, I would have to start looking for a job. HOW TERRIFYING IS THAT?
Now, here are some reasons as to why I am so afraid of that next chapter in my life:
1. I don’t even know what kind of work I would like to do. With my degree, I can go in so many directions! I could work in a bank, which I don’t want to, work in any marketing, human resources or management departments and so on. There are so many options! How am I supposed to know which one is for me? I am going to do an internship this summer in London -which is SO exciting- and I’ll be working in the publicity department of a publisher. I’m so excited for it, and maybe it will help me decide on a course.
2. Then there is the big question: WHERE do I want to work? I don’t know. As some of you may know, I am born and raised in Belgium and still live there. However, I want to work in a country where English is the native language. I am quite sure I want to work in publishing, and English just feels more natural to me. I know that’s weird as Dutch is my native language. But there is just something about the English language that makes it easy to express yourself. I’m going to be honest: I would love to live and work in the US. If that’s not possible, I’ll happily take the UK though.
It’s the big question of where that gives me most of my anxiety. Because how do I even start looking for a job in the US? Should I move there first and then look? Or secure a job first and then move? And how does that work? Another thought that haunts me is why any American employer would hire me, while there are so many equally qualified people already in the US? I mean, English isn’t even my native language. ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS HAUNT ME. I’m on to my hopefully last year of studying and I haven’t figured out an answer to any of these questions. It scares the hell out of me every single day.
I feel like there is so much pressure on young people. We have to decide in high school already where we want to take our lives. In Belgium, you have to choose between a certain set of set programs. For example, I took Latin for 1 year, then Greek-Latin for 1, than Latin-Science for 2 and finally Modern Languages-Science for the last 2. We kind of count 6 years as high school, from 12-18. When you have chosen a program, your courses are set. There is no choosing. However, now I have studied a bachelor’s degree in economics at my university. How was I supposed to know what I wanted at 12 or even 16. That’s a big decision!